Walk away to save your face

My depressive side is slowly letting me go, I can still feel it's there, but not like it used to. Now it's my anxiety I feel, which I never used to feel to this degree before. - I'm going to beat it, I just need one more day home from school. My heart starts beating fast, my breath begins to fade and my surroundings start to spinn.

I'm waiting for my mum to leave for work, so I can sneak up and get some more sleep, I can't take the disappointment in her eyes. I'm not giving up mum, I just need a break sometimes.

I'm busy fighting against relapsing.

I don't know what I should write about anymore, I don't feel the need to write about my mental health, but it's how I feel, and I know it helps to get it out. I'd like to write about all the things I love, all the things that make me happy, even if it's just for a little bit. I want people to know me without the disorders, without the medications and self-hatred. I want to show everyone that the person I used to be isn't gone, but I don't know how. I don't know where I should start, where I should look. I just know I miss me, and I know you do too.

I've been told that sometimes the old me shines through, even if it's just for seconds. I'm not gone, and I'll be getting back my life, my confidence and my love. And I honestly don't care how cheesy that sounds, 'cause it's the truth, and it's what I'm reaching for.