"Visst känns det som att kärleken väntar."

My reflection, dirty mirror

there's no connection to myself

I'm your lover, I'm your zero

It's so weird to be one of those people on medication. Suddenly you realize everything that's gone. When I'm not in contact with anyone I go blank. I can't think of anything, I can't feel anything. I just don't care. It's quite horrible, everyone you love turns into nothing when they're not there. Nothing matters, nothing's fun, and nothing's sad.

I don't exist when you don't see me.

When I'm with my friends I feel joy, maybe even happieness. But when they leave, I leave too. I don't even know what to write anymore, I can't feel anything. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. I feel so cold. Everything my eyes see doesn't matter, I don't see beauty, I don't see ugliness. Where is my mind?

J, I honestly wonder what I'd do if I didn't talk to him for hours and hours everyday, I wonder what would go through my mind, what I would be like. - Being all alone and empty. He makes me feel special, and happy, even if it's just while he's there. It's so lovely it sickening. - Yes, I finally found a good one.

Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
and cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness

You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more