here's your warning sign, go on, leave.

When you're on the edge of life, on the edge of everything that used to mean something to you, you won't ever be happy. Still you laugh, you smile, you talk. And all for nothing. 'Cause everything around you is dying. The people that treat you like shit decides to leave you, - you should be happy, right? No. You break down, you cry, your throat closes up, and you put your cigarette to close to your skin. So your heart won't explode in your chest. The people you love you don't care about, because it doesn't matter anymore. Because they can't make the shit go away, you can't make the shit go away either. I think I've fallen years back now, everything hurts, and again my tears are leaving my eyes. Rolling down my cheeks and blurring my vision. The fantasies about accidentally taking to many painkillers, to many sleeping pills fills my mind. What's stopping me? I don't know. I'm strong, you say? Still it feels like my greatest weakness.

It's funny when you see self injury in movies, seeing as the person cuts into his/her own skin. The blood starts to drip right away, just pores out. But really, you can see into your flesh for quite a few seconds, and you can see the blood oozing out little by little, 'till it's covering the entire wound. Then it starts to make drops, maybe one, or more. Depends on the length. Finally it builds up so much, it starts to drip and make paths across your skin. Why do I know this, you ask? You figure it out. My greatest shame, the part of me that I hate, and love. Something that kept me alive, and dragged me back down. It's stinging now.

Come on in, I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is, I miss you.
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so.

And I'm tired, I should not have let you go