It's funny how moods can change. I feel okay at the moment, I feel good. Well, good might be an over-statement. But I'm okay. The tiredness is hitting in quite hard, still I don't want to go to bed, don't want to fall asleep. - Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping, I love dreaming. But now, it's just something I do to pass time, 'cause when I wake up, the shit still remains. There's no improvement, I still feel as though there's no hope. Still waits for the letter, the letter telling me when I'm getting put in the adult ward. And I can't wait. I didn't want to at first, but I realise I need it, if I'm supposed to move on, and live my life again. 'Cause I were living, I were living it so good. But fuck what a set back, it's like im thirteen again - holding my breath when I walk past people to not be a bother. I'm constantly tired, but can't sleep. I have no appetite, no lust for anything. I just sit here, constantly trying to find something to do, so I'm not left with my thoughts. It's 4 am, and I wish I was asleep. But I can't stand the minutes laying in my bed before the sleeping pills kick in, the thoughts hits me too hard.
- Oh, and I'm sorry for this blabbering, which doesn't solve anything, nor does it make sense. But as I said, I need to keep doing stuff, being occupied.
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