”Spring”By Lina S. Mæhle
The atmosphere is changing, so am I. I always said that my depressed state never had anything to do with the weather, nor the atmosphere. But hello, now it’s so obvious.
When everything is dark, it’s hard so see the light. Nevertheless, to say that that’s the only reason for my mental issue is bit over the top. Maybe I’ve got a change at heart, and I simply just got better, and the weather had nothing to do with it. I truly love the winter, I really do. But I’ve got to admit that the change of light could effect my depression and anxiety in a negative way.
I was in love, beyond my wildest dreams. I didn’t know that it was possible to feel that way for another human being. Every time I saw her face it felt like my heart was trying to break free from my chest, like it wanted to run away. It never did.
She told me that she loved me first. I couldn’t believe my own ears, and I probably didn’t. I would always question her love to me. And I regret that a lot.
We could talk for hours and hours, about everything and nothing. It didn’t matter. She told me that I meant everything to her, even though she had a boyfriend, an abusing one as a matter of fact. I hated him, I really did. She was with him long before I came along. I never felt guilty about loving her the way I did.
“She promised me the world, and I believed her..”
The winter came and went, so did the spring, and then the summer. When autumn finally closed for the year, winter came. As it does every year. Something stroke me, I finally understood that she loved me, me for me. I felt an intense joy, and I know that the thing I felt was happiness. For the first time, for as long as I could remember, I was happy. I opened the curtains and saw the first snow lying so beautiful on the ground. I run outside in the dark, looking at my new path in the beautiful white snow. I thought it finally decided to hide away all of my mistakes, and give me a fresh start.
I didn’t know how wrong I was.
The very next day she told me that she was confused. She didn’t know if she loved me anymore. The days went by, so did the weeks. The weeks became to months and she never knew how she felt about me. My love for her couldn’t die, I thought.
The day before my math exams she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. Then my summer holiday began, and I was miserable. What was the meaning of life if you had to carry around such a great deal of pain? I didn’t want to live, neither die.
Time went by, and the love, the disappointment, and the grief slowly faded away. I don’t blame her, and most important, I no longer blame myself.
Now its springtime and we are great friends. Soul mates I might say. The other day we sat on a little green hillside, eating grapes. We were laughing and having the most fun I’ve had in weeks. I still love her, I do. But there’s many ways to love someone.
Not a day goes by without me thinking of her.
She’s my butterfly, she’s my spring. She’s my butterfly in the spring.
We could talk for hours and hours, about everything and nothing. It didn’t matter. She told me that I meant everything to her, even though she had a boyfriend, an abusing one as a matter of fact. I hated him, I really did. She was with him long before I came along. I never felt guilty about loving her the way I did.
“She promised me the world, and I believed her..”
The winter came and went, so did the spring, and then the summer. When autumn finally closed for the year, winter came. As it does every year. Something stroke me, I finally understood that she loved me, me for me. I felt an intense joy, and I know that the thing I felt was happiness. For the first time, for as long as I could remember, I was happy. I opened the curtains and saw the first snow lying so beautiful on the ground. I run outside in the dark, looking at my new path in the beautiful white snow. I thought it finally decided to hide away all of my mistakes, and give me a fresh start.
I didn’t know how wrong I was.
The very next day she told me that she was confused. She didn’t know if she loved me anymore. The days went by, so did the weeks. The weeks became to months and she never knew how she felt about me. My love for her couldn’t die, I thought.
The day before my math exams she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. Then my summer holiday began, and I was miserable. What was the meaning of life if you had to carry around such a great deal of pain? I didn’t want to live, neither die.
Time went by, and the love, the disappointment, and the grief slowly faded away. I don’t blame her, and most important, I no longer blame myself.
Now its springtime and we are great friends. Soul mates I might say. The other day we sat on a little green hillside, eating grapes. We were laughing and having the most fun I’ve had in weeks. I still love her, I do. But there’s many ways to love someone.
Not a day goes by without me thinking of her.
She’s my butterfly, she’s my spring. She’s my butterfly in the spring.
3 comments:
<3
iloveyoubaby
oh my :)
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