"If I stay."

When the person you've put all your trust upon fails you, it hurts.

"Oh really, captain obvious?" you say. When a person you love, adore and think would be your savior breaks your heart, it doesn't really hurt. No. It makes you shatter, every particle in your body dies.

"Do you love her more than me?" You ask.

- "Yes." He replies.

Your eyes burst, your vision fails, and you grab whatever you can find and slice your arm open. You can't even feel it, you can only hear the sound of flesh getting sliced open, again and again and again. And eventually, when your wrist is so swollen that you can't even see the vains anymore, you ask yourself: Die, or get help. And in a glimpse of reason you know.

You grab your shirt, to hide your massacred arms. You walk upstairs, you sit down in the sofa and stare at the tv screen in a state of confusion. In minutes you sit there in silence, 'till your force yourself to ask your father,

"can you drive me to the therapist tomorrow?"

- "No, I have work."

He says. You're building up the confidence to walk to the kitchen, grab whatever painkillers you can find, and end it. Nothing works anyway, 'till he looks at you, turns the tv off. Asking why you're shaking, twitching and crying. "Yes I'll drive you." He eventually adds. For a second hope returns, someone cares. And for a second, you don't want to die. Even if it's just for a little while.